Jumping

I need a new way to move
This vehicle has failed
This caravan is too slow
I’ll miss my flight if I stay
I just take a chance
And move on without them
Change is desired, required
And imminent.


R. L. Heath, Jr.

This man

I fear this part of me
The free one, the liberated man
Uncontrolled, free willed and too
Ambitious man
Historically troublesome, shameless ,
Embarrassing man
Fearless, fun, witty, and
Charismatic man
The other half me, man
To let him free
Would render my life at risk
I lack trust for this
Irresponsible man
The pain I heal now
From this man
I have regret from this
Man
I have resentment from this
Man
I have embarrassment from this
Man
I have freedom from this
Man
How to merge me with this
Man.

R. L. Heath, Jr.

Rummage Sale

It’s grand sale!
One of a kind!
Not a white,
Not a blue,
Not a 32 hour,
But a Unique Sale!
All parts are used,
And reduced.
Lower prices for liquidation.
Vital, essential, and useful
For those who find purpose
With the discarded parts.
Here it is as follows:
Mind for 20 dollars,
Or best offer.
Former owner lack
The competence to utilize
Properly.
A bit damage from
Lack of use
Kind of dusty
Bad perception
From misconception of
Intelligence.
Potential expansion capabilities
Are said to be phenomenal.
All parts included for the
Heart, 15 dollars
Or best offer.
Previous owner lacked the
Caring and potential for the
Heart to grow.
Appreciation was minimal,
Rather discarded with contempt.
Lack of confidence
Has weakened it
And tainted the fluids.
Constant abuse by others
And owner.
Has latch a mold
Across the mane of
The heart.
Soul…….
Best offer
Ranting and virtually
Unsatisfied.
Devalued because the
Sould wants an escape
Happiness is hard to
Find for this particular
Amenity.
High maintenance and
Very high capabilities,
Stresses the body of possession.
Body
Free with purchase of any other part.
This part has been devalued
Because of it’s complexion,
Frailty, lack of luster.
Extremely popular amongst users
And abusers.
Previous owner was
Depreciative of it,
And did not want
Much to do with it
Be here to
Take heed of
This once in
A lifetime offer!

R. L. Heath, Jr.

Wrong Roots

Priest drink up confession
Knowing no truth at all
Keeping down and out the true temptations
To ensure our angelic call

Even though out charter is human manifest.
Our natural feelings are dismissed,
To make way for man to impress.
To ignored or be not to is to hissed.

I follow the solemn road,
Road of personal manifestation
To do this, I must be bold
Even though I face austricization

Our nature is over ran by the charters.
We banish those who follow their nature
Why, because there are no founding fathers,
No three wise men to insure.

Deafening screams are defeaned,
We are afraid of the truth!
Unnatural things are quickened,
Because we won’t unroot.

R. L. Heath, Jr.

And…?

Who the hell are you?
Who the hell are you to tell me
I don’t have the right to live?’
Who the hell are you to tell me
The correct way to live?

Do you put food in my mouth?
Do you put the clothes on my back?
Do you pay my bills?
Then what gives you the right to criticize me?

Did you give me the life I live?
Did you give me the eyes to see?
Did you give me the ears to hear?
Did you give me the heart to feel?
Then what gives you the right to banish me?

Do you provide the air to breathe?
Do you provide the water to cleanse?
Do you provide the sunlight to live?
The who the hell are you to judge me?

Can I call you bitch?
Can I call you nigger?
Can I call you whore?
Can I call you liar?
Can I call you faggot?
Can I call you sinner?
Then who the hell are you to call me these names?

Until you become an Omnipotent power,
Do not criticize me
Do not banish me
Do not judge me
Call me by my name
Unless you can accept and receive the otherwise,

And…?
R. L. Heath, Jr

She, Allah

The unequivocal human
Speaks but does not listen
Comments but does not understand
The destitute integral man
Spends but does not produce
Uses but do not give
Laughs without laughter
These men are the brethren
Of our human desire
The father of our lustful
Spite of dignity
The son and progeny
Of our mistakes forgotten
Three divine does not constitute
Punishment for our wicked ways
To think so would be arrogant
Neither does She let you escape
Consequence
The fact of nature, life and
The ethers
Not console Her divinity
Would rule you inhumane
Making you a blind heathen
Whose definite cause was parasitical
Make you a threat to the rest
Of nature
Disabled, unable are thee
Such a blemish, reputation
In history
Wiped clean from
Light:
Light that has given you
And that will take you
Let it be warned
You avaricious, unsatisified
Demagagous carry-ons
Will, has, and can be
Retributed with and by
Her Name
Allah.
The Lord above is our
Air that we abuse
Water that we fill with refuse
Light that we block
Heart that we ignore
Mind that we molest
Body that we detest
Soul that we leave
Word that we deceive
Philosophy that we degrade
Reason that we under grade
Hands that we dehumanize
Brothers that we demonize
Forgive us Lord.


R. L. Heath, Jr.

You…

I failed you
I failed myself
I had no clue
No clue you would not help

You said
I even said
I love you
And that was
Not true

At least

You realized
I realized
That this was just a mess
But we refuse to confess
…but

you told me
I said to myself
Something is wrong
But kept it underneath
…until

you did not love
I did love
The essence of you
But afraid to show the anew
… but now

at least
for you
but
realized there is nothing
until I told you
How I felt
Now
I am over you.


R. L. Heath, Jr.

Our Decks

Journeys I have followed
Have been apparent to me
As to where I have been borne
As I reflect
The roads, bridges, and paths
Seem have disappeared in
The large picture of history
The milestones stand as borderlines
To the person portrayed in the
Still motion biography—
Flashcard silent film
As in the present
Things hoped and wished of
Are placed next to each other
Like cards of a deck
The more are placed, less are remembered
Are each card
Ever second in our mind
A card is placed
Marking an end to each
Period of time.
Periodically tough
We look back to review
The place cards of a deck
We realize that the cards placed
Can not all be remembered
The milestones form the picture
We have in our psyche
The aces, kings queens and jacks
Form the edge of our
Perfected personality at the
Time.
Some us remember
Some of the 2’s, 5’ and 6’s
Some us smile, and some
Of us, just cry.
Yet we all at some point
Review our card played and placed
We all at some point
Look and observe the level of our deck
Obscure and illicit the amount left
Unsecure and feared, the rest maybe
We continue to play the next card
And move on.
Some of us don carry the full deck
Fear of losing good cards
Either way we play
Some against, with, to , and for
Each other.
Yes will play cards for whatever
Reason.
We all that X amount of
Cards to play
And we all will run out.


R. L. Heath, Jr.

Yet, Instead.

Tell me not who I am
But what I can be.
Tell me not where I should go
But where I am going
Tell me not what I should do
But what I am doing
Call me not by their name
But by my own
Show me not the ideal
But the unadulterated real
Show me not a face
But a glowing soul
Show me not the theories
But the truth
Show me not the mind
But the heart and mind
Give not conformity
But opportunity
Give not obstacles
But goals
Give not the known
But feared unknown

R. L. Heath, Jr.

Baggage

Bitter feet
Journey incomplete
Happy beyond concrete
Deaf destiny is
Blinding beyond sight
But focused travel
Yet, continues
Empty the foreground
Of anything permanent
Obstacles are the
Minions of darkness
Call from the posterior
For attention and control
Never to unlatch
From the traveler.



R. L. Heath, Jr.

Sour Change

Bitter am I with myself
Sour am I with my actions
Cowardly am I to change
Reviving a dead man
With faith
No name for faith
Only doubt is its vital
Purpose.



R. L. Heath, Jr.

Quiet of loneliness

Solo of a perpetual song
Never ending melodies
Of melancholia
Emotional wave of
Sand
Devoid of life
And
Fruit
Storm of space and
Nothing winds of
Horrific winds and
Splintering rains
Choir of vultures picking
Of barren and
Bare bones
Sing ole single sweet
Chime,
Jingle of
Jubilant joke

R. L. Heath, Jr.

What is Death?

Paralyzed by fear and lost

Petrified my future is.

Mortuesque are the days of the week

Loneliness feels comfortable to the soul

Loss, and pain, the epiphanies

strangle my heart for freedom

Stillness in time seems to be obligatory

R. L. Heath, Jr

edited (by RLH 4/8/09)

A twist

April 28 2001

Saturday

I have been awaken,

Torn from solemnity

Into somber sobriety

Torment skies awaits

Belligerent are the cries of

Sorrow.

Whisapered are the songs

Of fate.

Deep thought caresses me

With multitude of fear.

And a peaceful “longing’

World ashakened by

Course despair

Object of my loathing

Object of my fear

Is the presented course

I must face.

This course is

The manufacturer

Of my being

Unresolved emotions,

Emotion of suffering

Self defeating

And personal hate

I awaken to the

Face of my mother.

Grasping lightly

Onto life.

Though as seen

And loved secretly,

Creates personal hypocrisy

Of profuse emotions.

Belligerent are these

Feelings.

Personal battles

Numbs my heart

Weakness conquers

Tears.

Fearlessness defeats

Breathing

Love reinfested

By hate

Yet tomorrow…

Breathless Truth

Sadness spreads through my veins

Spreads through the veins with fluid tumult

Arranging normality into chaos,

Drowning conformity with abstraction

Barren hope is foreseeable more,

As the horizon converge into a void.

Darting ravens replace the gracious doves,

Twirling the skies seething screams.

Tarnish clouds bombard the spring.

Sudden winter arrives as though it has come home.

Despair seems to awaken to me.

To remind me of the world I have abandoned

The developed unknown has aged as much as I have,

The beast as fearless as I may be,

Child I first was when I was aqauinted with he,

He hath grown as I when I was reqaquainted.

To be forgotten was intended

Not to be existent was pretended

Breaking through my reality with ceasarian tenacity,

Superceding my world I have secured,

He, the breathless beast

Torn from my neglected soul

Wounded, blistering blemish

Bursting with seething history

Over consuming my person with doubt,

Aloning my world

Things seem so far away

Far from my closeness

Far from the barrier of me

Far from the comprehension

The comprehension held so dear,

Despair has won.

Corral of sanctity hath deceased,

The structure of peace fell to the windstorm of sand.

The world and paradise, …my eye

Is blinded with unwanted past.

Holding nothing to call peace to the turmoil

The cold crept is to cease the motion of progress.

Regression has molded and grown to fit,

The crevasses have filled with molt and sewage

Foul is the air around, breathless beast is he.

Suffocation is imminent

Torn lung cease to exist

Lays open to deflate with last breathe

Breathe that held peace.

Many of good turned evil against I

Negligence bore truth to me as reproach.

None of the accomplishments have bearing

The foundation crumble soft and mute.

Bankrupt am I to be.

The palace and the paradise slowly consumed

Deliberate retribution is he.

Once the elite in emotional tenace

Unwelcome am I to vitality

Unwelcome am I to prosperity

Only welcome to disparity

Cryo-affection wraps arms about me

Draining my heart and mind from me

No liberty of malfunction, as it may show freedom,

Only to torture the that hath neglected he.

He-the breathless beast.

Tears may run as not

For the fluid of emotions are frozen

As the blistering affection squeezes.

Faith hath escape with all estate

The beliefs I hold dear left me open

God or what it to be, farther from me.

Cruel and ceaseless is he,

Lord seems to tag me

Tag me of no value

Tag of historic debt

Tag of ceaseless repentance

Sins committed innocence are guilt

Thought of peace have become belligerent

Hopes of love have turned cold

Common truths are lies to bare

Lies are of all promises broken unto thou

Unto all veins of prosperity

The hole hath opened

All worthiness, fallen through

Affluence if esteem, swallowed

Cough of the breathless beast

Growth has regressed back to childhood

Frighten boy of negligence.

Boy forgotten to person

Foreign is this boy of adult

The tears of fear seem unreasonable

Why must you shed?

Why must you shake?

Why must you shrink away?

The eye that has the soul pulled

The eye devoured the soul’s boyish innocence

Boy now being stiff and calm

Robotic his emotion has become

Forward steps he takes

The minor breathless beast merges with him.

Superhuman are the two combined

Movement are fearless but weak

Powerful boy he develops

Breathless beast is now king

Childhood coolly conquered

The darkness disappears as the steps become extended

The path is lit with obscurity

Gray and dank is the bare roads

Numb become the child’s feet

Ignorant, naïve is he to the world around

But he bud of his own

But he reaps of his own

But he bares his own barriers

The road falls in oblivion behind

The son negligence never turn back

Child of enveloping fear, briskly moves forward

Destination hath no name

Destination only forward

Never looking around, perception of surroundings

Never noticing his infinite circle run

Enforced is a shield to all eyes

To all sense to the boy

Protected from the further hurt

Protected from rejection

Protection from any deception

The boy grows astronomically

The boy superhuman to peers as he

Goes through storms

The boy

Sage to all who is weak

Sage master for all who seek him

This manchild has bruted out

His appearance is foreign to thee.

Shielded from deception and reception

Shielded from disappointment and achievement

Sheilded from misperception and true-self perception

Confused but sure, the man boy develops

Unseeingly the breathless beast dart arrows

Only piercing the adolescent with poison

Posioned with guilt,

Poisoned with repositioned sin.

Naïve forgiveness ravages rationale.

Ravages the senses to further blindness.

The adolescent falls over his own foot

In an attempt to abolish him

Careful is the beast, he flies as the boy falls

Boy betrayed, shaken, forgives, moves forward,

Ah-ha! Thou beastly tricks hath work for thee.

Ah-ha! Thou circle hath hath strengthen thee.

The superhuman boy only grows weaker.

The superhuman boy only slows quicker.

The superhuman boy only is younger

This beast sucks the time through the boy to grow himself

This breathless beast leeches ability from the boy

This breathless beast has bore out all freedom

This beast naps while the boys continues descent

This breathless beast weakens the boy resilience

This breathless beast is leaving

Taking the man to be

Taking the world from him

Taking the foundation from me.

Waking from his nap the boy is only frighten

Down to the last square in the path

Blackness ahead, a void on all other sides

The boy screams

The boy moans

Boy whimpers

The breathless beast grown too great proportion

Brazen breatheless beast lashes at the boy

Boy screams

The beast grunts in laughter

Boy moans

Grunting and gurgling is beast with his achievements

Bursting and bubbling of his destruction, this beast

Master is he of this boy.

Boy still blind and numb, shrinking into a crumpled state

Boy still small and hollow shivers with fear.

Scrawny is he

Hollow is his heart

Swallowed is his soul

Stripped of his weapons, stripped of his experience

Shielded is external being

Internally vulnerable

Foreign is this to him

Though it has been repeated

Foreign is his body to him

Stripped of wanted memory

Only is the void familiar

Only is this darkness else

Only is the emotion familiar

Only the empty surrounding is familiar

Only is this beast here

Only loneliness this boy knows

Only I am that boy

R. L. Heath, Jr.

A request from A prisoner

Dear Lord
My soul provider
My life grace
My lesson instructor,
My world presenter
My sovereign gate keeper
Oh, Dear Lord,
Why hath thou bestow unto me
Trials
Precarious nothings
Doubtful hope?
Query of giving me life
Hath never have been made.
Sensations are continual
Of sentencing to a punishment
A Prison!
Who were the things,
In my former life?
What deed did I bestow
Upon the world?
What have I done!
Oh, Dear Lord,
I wake up with the
Request of
Never waking again.
Fro some trouble will
Shadow my doorstep.
What am I here for?
Who am I to be?
For what retribution?
Punishment?
Why am I
This ceded person whose
Battles flourishes more
Than prosperity?
Whose prosperity makes
Suffering easy?
Whose happiness is as
Elusive as death.
Whose morning waking is
Painful and abhorred.
I beg and plead
For parole
Or
Probation
From this “so called”
Life.
Still trapped in
Repetition from past
Events.
Being styled constantly
From what I have perceived
myself
Loudly told of personal
Failures
Through mine and
Others sight.
The perpetual want
To flee
The perpetual want
To escape
Always unhappy
Never content
And afraid of both .
Loath human
Contact
Yet seek with
Tenacity.
Apparent innocence
Yet self defeating
Guilt.
Dear Omnipotent
Soul,
For what reason
Am I occupying
This unhappy human?
They told me you
Give whatever the
The heart truly needs,
I need to be released.
I need a new
Beginning.
I need a new
World.
Dear Lord,
Hear my request
Let it not be taken
As another request
For a Pony.
Dear, Dear Lord!
I love you dearly.
For you and my love
Ones,
Is greater by far
Than the love I would
Have for this life
For myself .
This dark olive,
Differently oriented,
Sexual minority,
Would like to go
Would like to have a pardon
I have learned all
The lesson that is needed
To learn and be taught,
I have seen enough
For my soul to understand.
I do regret any wrong
I may have treaded upon.
Your omnipotence,
Yet, I have learned.
I live for others
However, I never seem
To please them,
Nor you.
I want to come home.
No, Lord
I am truly homesick .
No more, Lord.
I have had my limit
I do not want
Nor do I need to go
On
Lord, Oh Dear, Lord,
If I am imprisoned
In this cell
If I am eternally
Punished,
I am afraid that
What’s left of
My soul
Will cease to
Be vital.
My heart will
Shut down,
And my mind,
Oh, imprisoned mind,
Will take control .
I desire not that outcome,
Nevertheless, life will
Take that path.
I am done with
My sentencing
Your son.


A request from A prisoner
R. L. Heath, Jr.